When I was a Child

I am afraid of doing this
Still so fearful after all these years
Still so doubtful of my that and my this
Afraid of what you may think of my actions, of one of my many aspirations
I am doubtful of the words I chose to express my thoughts and emotions
Convinced they are inadequate
And lacking intelligence
Yes, I am trembling as I am writing this
Concerning myself of your reproach
Pondering, pondering on the right approach
Denying myself the right to explore my creativity
Fearful of your negativity
Because when I was a child you told me I was a dunce
Because when I was a child you told me my writing sucks
Because when I was a child your empty words punctured my vital core
Drained me lifeless
Left me fearful and hopeless
But somehow I persevere
And decided to battle my fears by creating this
So finally, yes finally I can cross this one off my bucket list
I can now sing glory hallelujah your disapproval is my strength and my redemption
-Judith Shaw