When I was a Child

I am afraid of doing this

Still so fearful after all these years

Still so doubtful of my that and my this

Afraid of what you may think of my actions, of one of my many aspirations

I am doubtful of the words I chose to express my thoughts and emotions

Convinced they are inadequate

And lacking intelligence

Yes, I am trembling as I am writing this

Concerning myself of your reproach

Pondering, pondering on the right approach

Denying myself the right to explore my creativity

Fearful of your negativity

Because when I was a child you told me I was a dunce

Because when I was a child you told me my writing sucks

Because when I was a child your empty words punctured my vital core

Drained me lifeless

Left me fearful and hopeless

But somehow I persevere

And decided to battle my fears by creating this

So finally, yes finally I can cross this one off my bucket list

I can now sing glory hallelujah your disapproval is my strength and my redemption

-Judith Shaw